It's a Love/Hate Relationship

I introduce to you the mom of Doug, the devil, and one of the funniest people I know. If you ask any one of my friends what they think about Kirsten's sister,  you could get a variety of answers. From "she hates me with a burning passion" to "Kendall and I are closer than anything".  This year she convinced my parents into getting her a puppy. Because Kendall is just the most responsible person in the world.

Courtesy of my phone

Kendall and I visiting Park City: Courtesy of Colleen Keblish

Here's a brief history of some of the ridiculous things Kendall has done to me:

When Kendall was around six years old and I was eight, we went to the neighbors house to pick peppers with our best friend Adam. Trying so hard to be cool, I said that I loved peppers. I then picked up what I thought was a bell pepper and took a nice big bite out of it. It was not a bell pepper. I screamed and rolled on the ground and covered my eye. Kendall and Adam laughed their heads off. I yelled at them to stop and Kendall told me I had anger management problems and as a red head constantly being told that I had anger problems, I threw the pepper at her. To my surprise, it hit Kendall directly in the eyeball. She cried and cried her whole way home, where she had to rinse her eye in the shower and I got in trouble for being so mean. 

When Kendall was seven years old and I was nine, I stole something from her room. I can't remember exactly what it was but I it was probably some sort of toy. I was soon caught by seven year old Kendall, who then screamed and cried saying that I had to give it back. And as a nine year old girl, I refused to give it back. Instead of logically, telling on me she threatened to pee on my floor. Thinking that Kendall was bluffing I folded my arms and refused again. But she wasn't bluffing. She squatted down and peed right there on my bedroom floor. I stood speechless. And then without even asking for her possession back she left the room and said "next time it will be poo". 

When I was twelve and Kendall was ten, we sat doing homework in the kitchen. We got in an argument and I began to give her the silent treatment. A few minutes later, she asked me how to spell February. And as an annoyed older sister, I obviously continued to give her the silent treatment. She whined and screamed for me to tell her. Then she picked up an orange from the counter top and threw it at me. 

A couple months after the "orange incident" we went outside to practice lacrosse together. As a very unorganized family we had lost every last lacrosse ball. But instead of giving up and going inside, we tried to find something to use instead like a tennis ball. Kendall called it improvising. First, while I was actually looking for a ball she picked a light-bulb sized rock in her stick and threw it at me. Luckily, she missed and I scolded her. But as usual, it didn't get through to her. I told her I didn't want to play anymore so she picked up another orange, this time rotten from the back of our pick up truck, and threw it at me. 

Recently, we were playing legos. I know, right a fourteen year-old playing legos, but it does happen. Not really caring very much I didn't jump to pick pieces out of the lego box. Unlike Kendall and her friend. When I did sit down to play, I picked up a bunch of random legos put them together in the shape of a square and told them that I had made my house already. Then laughing they took a lego plane and crashed it into my house. I have to admit it was pretty funny, so I was laughing, too. But Kendall kept bragging about all the pieces she was finding. So jokingly, I tried to grab her stuff. But she fought me back and dug a lego into my wrist. When I told her she cut me and that I was bleeding, she said "good". She then said that I "sucked at playing legos and that I was annoying" I then called her a mean word and left the room. Listening in on her and her friend's conversation, she said that I started it. Great, because I totally wrecked my own lego house.

Usually, Kendall and I get along really well. We have nicknames for each other, chill out together, and she admits that she'll miss me when I go off to college. But based on this information, would you let Kendall own a dog. Neither would I. And I wonder why Doug is so weird.