What an Awful Friend

I like telling stories. Like a lot. I like telling stories because you can tell them if you’re in any mood. So I tell stories all the time. I know my friends probably hate it. It must be so annoying to be always listening to Kirsten’s incessant voice talking about how she got lost on the city bus and had to walk back to Treasure Mountain (True story and yes, I referred to myself in the third person.) But I like to tell stories because it helps me laugh at myself and I like making people smile. And sometimes nobody laughs, which is embarrassing, but hey you keep trying. 

Courtesy of clairelasecretaire.wordpress.com

I think this blog has been like my own personal, yet public journal. I’ve been able to tell stories and talk about random things, like how I want to own a naked cat someday. I’ve learned about myself, but mostly just expressed myself. 

To understand my transformation throughout this year, we have to look back to my locker at the beginning of this year. At the beginning of this year my locker was clean, fresh, and relatively organized. It was very innocent. I had a folder or binder for every class, and enough pens to last me an eternity. When they tell you that you can be prepared for high school, it’s total crap. By the first week my pens were missing and I felt like a homeless person, because of how often I begged people for a pen. “Spare a pen for a unorganized train wreck, would ya sir?” Gradually, my locker became worse and worse. Piles of paper built up inside my locker. Unknown liquids spilled and stained my locker. The door became vandalized with drawings of dogs, courtesy of Aysia and “I love JB” courtesy of River. 

Yesterday, after a very random and unfortunate chain of events I ended up at school with quite a bit of free time. So I decided to get a bit of the cleaning of my locker over with. As I began to clean it out I realized exactly how much stuff had occurred so quickly this year. I found three silver spoons, papers from every class, a small yellow bowl, six unused highlighters, four binders, three folders, and a mug. 

Then I looked at the empty and organized locker, and thought to myself I made it. It may have been hard and it may have been messy but I made it through my first year of high school. Where my blog played in that, I’m not exactly sure. I think my blog has shaped me into the writer I am today and has sparked my creativity. It’s also caused much suffering. I’ve lost hours of sleep because of writers block. 

Overall, I don’t think my blog drastically changed me. But I do think it’s helped me. It’s given me a new place to share my thoughts, even if no one is reading. Although it’s cheesy, I like to think of my blog as a friend I made this year. So cheers to my friend, I hope to never see you again fourteen days from now!

I Forgot To Eat!

Here's a very unattractive image of me going
 hardcore on a slice of pizza. Courtesy of me. 

I love food. I usually scoff at people who just don't eat very much or don't like eating breakfast. But last Thursday, I basically forgot to eat. I had woken up in a panic, knowing that I hit the snooze button on my alarm. By the time I was in the kitchen to get breakfast, my mom was pulling the car around. So on my way out I grabbed some coffee and some cold coconut pancakes my mom ate the night before. In the car I rushed to shove my shoes on and sipped my barely warm coffee. I jumped out of the car to catch the bus without even taking a single bite of the pancakes.

I was hungry and tired for the whole morning. Reaching lunch felt like crossing the finish line of a marathon. At lunch, I realized that my mom had been in a rush, too, and she ended up packing me two coconut pancakes, one piece of bacon, and some syrup. Now, normally two pancakes would have been fine, but these coconut pancakes were about the size of my palm and were made of coconut milk, coconut flour, and coconut sugar. Add on the fact that I hadn't eaten breakfast, and this lunch was like the mini potato chip bags which are about sixty-five percent air.

I went along with my day, not caring too much that I hadn't eaten a lot. When I got home I went up to the barn and immediately rode my horse, Kiss, then came back to the house to change into my workout clothes for Athletic Republic. In case you don't know, Athletic Republic is a athlete training center that has personal trainers who give you a different workout each time you come. Unlike I usually do, I didn't grab a snack while I was at the house, but jumped in the car and went straight there without eating. That day I was with a bunch of boys that I didn't know and I was put on the treadmill with one other kid.

The treadmill at athletic republic is crazy. It vertical treadmill that increases it's steepness by the amount the trainer sets it to. During my first few sprints, I was fine, running as I normally do. But then I started to feel cold, like I do at the end of cross-country races. I walked in circles during my breaks. Suddenly, the whole room was spinning and I felt vomit rising in my throat. The trainer said I could go to the bathroom if I felt dizzy, and I nodded and went. Right when I reached the bathroom, I sat down on the floor next to the toilet and put my head between my knees. The whole room was blacking out and my mouth watered. I sat there for at least ten minutes before getting up. I held onto the wall to steady myself and went back to the weight room. The trainer asked me if I was okay and I said I was fine but he handed me a strawberry yogurt and a spoon. I really did not want to eat the yogurt, as I never liked super sweet yogurts, but he said I had to. So I ate tiny bites and swallowed it.

After waiting about half of an hour and deciding that I wouldn't be able to get back on the treadmill that day, he set up an exercise where I would just have to stand up and pull my knee up. But when I stood up the room spun again, my skin went cold, and my vision blurred. I ended up having to call my mom to come pick me up, but not before everyone there watched me sit on the floor and hold my head between my knees. All because I didn't eat. I was so embarrassed. I went home and crawled in bed at six thirty with an almond butter sandwich and slept for two hours before waking up. Then I ate a quesadilla and watched Grey's Anatomy with my mom for a little while before falling right back to sleep.

Yesterday, before I went to athletic republic I hate half of a chicken quesadilla and a banana. It's a myth that you shouldn't eat before a workout. I definitely learned my lesson...(That school is poorly affecting my health!)

4 Ways To Be Cooler, By Someone Uncool

We all want to be cool. And no matter how much we try to not care what everybody else thinks, we still do. But what is cool, really? Cool in the dictionary, is described as fairly cold temperature or fashionably attractive. I am definitely not cool, but from my experience as a teenager and after learning about the basic steps to being cool, I think I may be able to help you become just a little cooler.

1. Be confident and be yourself (Blah Blah Blah)

Yeah, right. Because that's easy. This is such a dumb thing to tell someone who is trying to be cool. It's like, If I thought I was cool by myself I wouldn't be trying to find out how to be cool. The truth is being yourself, only works half the time. Of course your family loves when you're yourself. But will everyone else? The real trick is to find people that you can be yourself with, and have stuff in common with. If you find people that think your cool even if you aren't. (WARNING: This often isn't cool.)

Courtesy of hdwallnpics.com

2. Always look adorable, but not like you're trying

This one is just impossible. I don't understand why I try really hard to look good somedays and some people are able to just look amazing in sweatpants. Like, when did that become a thing. I must admit though, other days I just put on jeans and a hoodie. The other thing I don't understand is why we all dress up for school. I mean we don't want to be here anyway, why are we trying to look good for it? I wasted 20 mins this morning to just put on a tee shirt and a sweater. I say we all just stop with the super high expectations and make it easier on everyone. 

Courtesy of zlucaz.deviantart.com

3. Go to cool parties

As we see in movies, all the cool kids go to parties. At these so called parties, teens live it up and have the best nights of their lives. And we all learned from Footloose, that dancing and parties may have some consequences, but in the end us teens really do need to party. The first problem with parties is that you usually have to be invited to parties. Which normally doesn't happen if you are uncool, like me. I guess you could just walk in but isn't that kinda creepy. The second problem with parties, is that unless you are going to a birthday party, most parties are lame as expressed by Alessia Cara. Why would I waste my time on that when Netflix and a box of Oreos are waiting for me at home.

Courtesy of sabotagetimes.com

4.  Always be funny

Okay, this may be easy for some people. But, unless you're Robin Williams, this one is really difficult. It's not that our jokes might not be funny but most of the time everyone has a different sense of humor. You also cannot be funny all the time. If we were funny all the time we would end up cracking jokes at funerals. (This may not always be true if you are attending an Irish wake.)

Basic Conclusion: It is impossible to be cool by everyone's standards. So my advice to you, if you really want to be cool, stop trying so hard and find some friends who don't care if you are cool or not.

Addicted

It is scientifically proven that caffeine is a real addiction. According to Joseph Stromberg from Smithsonian Magazine, caffeine is a chemical drug that has effects when you try to quit. If you are a regular coffee drinker, you can have light headaches, muscle pain, and lack of alertness.

No, I'm not addicted to caffeine. But Doug is. Doug enjoys the leftover coffee in anyone's cup every morning. It started when my Mom started to give it to him after she was done with hers. It's the very traditional story. One taste and he was hooked. He is very aware of what a mug is now and will jump onto the coffee table to get to any coffee he can. 

Courtesy of my phone

Courtesy of my phone

" I'm just so worried about him lately. He's been distant and really jumpy. I just want to get him help. You know? It's not healthy and he's going to end up ruining his life this way. One day he's going to overdose, and I just don't want it to get to that point. I really love him and I just want to get him the help he needs." -Kendall

(Just kidding. That was fake, I wrote it myself.) If you didn't know, caffeine is poisonous to dogs. When I researched it the effects on dogs were awful, one was death. How is death a side effect? It said that coffee is almost as poisonous as chocolate. Not that my family has ever worried about chocolate. Ed has eaten either Kendall or my Halloween candy each year, many batches of brownies, and even a five pound bag of M&Ms. So I'm not worried. My great grandmother fed her dog eggs and coffee every morning for breakfast, and that dog lived for almost twenty years. 

I'm not worried, but I do have some concerns. I don't know any dogs who like coffee as much as Doug. My Mother's boxer drank beer but that was a one time thing. Doug drinks coffee everday. One day he could overdose on coffee and fall over and die. Well, that actually couldn't happen. What would happen if we went on vacation? Who would give Doug his coffee?

While it's scary to think about what could possibly happen to Doug. I could never afford dog rehab, and I can use his addiction to my advantage. If you show Doug that there is coffee in your cup, he follows you around the house barking and jumping until you give him some. Perhaps, I could use this to get Doug to do anything I want. Coffee lovers don't even come close to Doug. He would go to the end of the earth for coffee. 

*Do not attempt to take Douglas to a coffee shop.

15 SUCKS

On Monday it was my birthday. In the morning I decided to sleep through first period, but as it turns out, I have really awesome friends. As I was enjoying the extra sleep I heard my phone ring in my bed. I sat up and shuffled through the pillows and multiple blankets on my bed (I love blankets!). Finally, I found my phone lit up with a name across the top. I answered the phone with a groggy, eyes-closed hello. Apparently, all my friends were waiting around my locker with gifts and cards for me. Feeling bad about not going, but feeling good about sleeping, I apologized many times. Then I went right back to sleep.

2014: courtesy of Mom

When I got up, my sister had made me cinnamon sugar ebelskivers for breakfast, which started my day off extremely well. If you haven't had ebleskivers, you haven't lived. Ebelskivers are danish pancake balls, that you fill with anything you want (yes, nutella). I ate those and slowly packed my school bag. Then I was dropped off at school, where I went straight to second period.

I received the gifts my friends brought me including a thermos that looks like a camera lens and a set of card that I got to open at each hour of the day. Each one had something nice written about me inside, which I know was probably not true, but it made my day anyway. After school I went riding and met my family for dinner at Sushi Blue.  To end the night we ate vegan vanilla cake, opened gifts, and took the traditional cat and cake photo that happens every year. (I only posted the previous years because I couldn't get this year's off facebook).

2015: Courtesy of Dad

Fifteen years old means that you get to legally drive a car, you are three years away from being an adult, and that there is a whole lot more pressure on you. Fifteen seems great until you are actually there. The morning of my first day as a fifteen year-old I put on my Mom's light blue sweater, and ran out the door with a bowl of strawberry oatmeal.

At school, it was put to my attention by Aysia that I had oatmeal all over the elbow of my sweater and my sweater was see-through. Luckily, I had a tank top. We went to the bathroom, scrubbed it off the oatmeal and I put on the tank top. By this time the bell rang and I headed to Mrs. Payne's room for math.

I sat down next to Alex and pulled out my homework. As we were working, she asked me to taste her hot chocolate to see how hot it was. I took a cautious sip and told her that from a scale of one to ten, the hot chocolate was an eight. Cool enough to drink, but also slightly scalding. As we worked on our class work, I studied her flash cards for the English test we had the next day. Suddenly, I was jumping out of my chair, yelping and waving my arms. The hot chocolate was spilled all over me, in front of the entire class. (Don't worry Alex I forgive you!) I then spent the rest of the day with a hot chocolate stained sweater.

During PE, we went snowshoeing. We hiked up a torturous and steep hill. At the top, we were allowed to choose if we wanted to go trail blazing or if we wanted to go down the same trail. I convinced my friends to go trail blazing with me. As it turns out, Alex and Elise are extremely good at trail blazing, while I am not. I slid most of the way down on my butt and I fell multiple times. I didn't realize that the tail of my sweater had been dragging in the snow the entire time. So all throughout Biology I shivered in my soaked sweater.

Now, I am nearly a week into fifteen. Which hasn't been too bad. Yet.

Anthropomorphize/Naked Cats

The word anthropomorphize may sound like it means-to transform into another animal, but it's actually the opposite. We don't realize it but everyday we anthropomorphize, whether you have a pet or not. The easter bunny is a notorious example. The word anthropomorphize is a verb that means to ascribe human features to something. When you talk about a thing or animal as if it were human, you're anthropomorphizing it. 

So why do we do it? According to Rick Nauert from Pysch Central News, An entity is more likely to be anthropomorphized if it appears to have many traits similar to those of humans (for example, through humanlike movements or physical features such as a face). Which is why we tend to anthropomorphize our pets. By giving animals emotions and personalities we make sense of emotions and relationships in our lives, without even realizing we are doing it. Some people do it out of loneliness. They cannot or will not connect with other people, so they end up creating relationships with their pets, like imaginary friends. Thus, the crazy cat lady is formed.

Winston and Ferguson Courtesy of Hollywood.com

It's not that your dog doesn't have emotions, he does, just not in the way you think. Pets feel excited, jealous, lonely, depressed. But they are not actually beyoncé's sister who loves pancakes. Their emotions are much simpler than we make them out to be. But this post isn't supposed to get you to stop anthropomorphizing your pet, it's actually supposed to inspire you to continue giving pet human emotions. I believe that anthropomorphizing is like therapy. It creates a stronger relationship with your pet, helps you understand different emotions, and combats loneliness. I'm not crazy but on days that I'm alone in the house, I bring my fish Joey to the coffee table and Doug onto the sofa, then as I watch television I make comments to them. 

In conclusion, anthropomorphizing is a good thing. It's fun and we should never stop doing it. Without it we wouldn't have pet instagram accounts and pet blogs. I hope that fifty years from now we still we continue to be closer friends with our pets, then some people that we know.

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Since these topics are both topics that I don't want to write a ton about, I decided to split the blog post in half to give me the opportunity to write about two short topics. The second topic I want to touch on is naked cats. 

I have always thought that hairless cats were the ugliest creatures ever. They were all wrinkly and looked like little ferocious people. Until last year. When I was scrolling the web like any normal teenager. When I came across one of the well-known hairless cats. 

My first thought was "ew", but then I looked more deeply into the eyes of the cat. I realized at that moment, that the hairless cats were most likely miss-judged. They suddenly didn't appear ugly or out of the place in the world, because I understood. They looked different from other cats, but maybe they were funny and sweet. So I looked more deeply into them. 

What a found was surprising. Hairless cats are actually a rare breed called the Sphynx. They don't actually get too cold and they have very low amounts of health problems. They are also sweet and friendly. For something so ugly, they are great cats. And they shed no hair, which works for anyone who is allergic to cats. Someday I plan to get a Sphynx and name it Voldemort or Smeagol, and we will live happily ever after. 

It's a Love/Hate Relationship

I introduce to you the mom of Doug, the devil, and one of the funniest people I know. If you ask any one of my friends what they think about Kirsten's sister,  you could get a variety of answers. From "she hates me with a burning passion" to "Kendall and I are closer than anything".  This year she convinced my parents into getting her a puppy. Because Kendall is just the most responsible person in the world.

Courtesy of my phone

Kendall and I visiting Park City: Courtesy of Colleen Keblish

Here's a brief history of some of the ridiculous things Kendall has done to me:

When Kendall was around six years old and I was eight, we went to the neighbors house to pick peppers with our best friend Adam. Trying so hard to be cool, I said that I loved peppers. I then picked up what I thought was a bell pepper and took a nice big bite out of it. It was not a bell pepper. I screamed and rolled on the ground and covered my eye. Kendall and Adam laughed their heads off. I yelled at them to stop and Kendall told me I had anger management problems and as a red head constantly being told that I had anger problems, I threw the pepper at her. To my surprise, it hit Kendall directly in the eyeball. She cried and cried her whole way home, where she had to rinse her eye in the shower and I got in trouble for being so mean. 

When Kendall was seven years old and I was nine, I stole something from her room. I can't remember exactly what it was but I it was probably some sort of toy. I was soon caught by seven year old Kendall, who then screamed and cried saying that I had to give it back. And as a nine year old girl, I refused to give it back. Instead of logically, telling on me she threatened to pee on my floor. Thinking that Kendall was bluffing I folded my arms and refused again. But she wasn't bluffing. She squatted down and peed right there on my bedroom floor. I stood speechless. And then without even asking for her possession back she left the room and said "next time it will be poo". 

When I was twelve and Kendall was ten, we sat doing homework in the kitchen. We got in an argument and I began to give her the silent treatment. A few minutes later, she asked me how to spell February. And as an annoyed older sister, I obviously continued to give her the silent treatment. She whined and screamed for me to tell her. Then she picked up an orange from the counter top and threw it at me. 

A couple months after the "orange incident" we went outside to practice lacrosse together. As a very unorganized family we had lost every last lacrosse ball. But instead of giving up and going inside, we tried to find something to use instead like a tennis ball. Kendall called it improvising. First, while I was actually looking for a ball she picked a light-bulb sized rock in her stick and threw it at me. Luckily, she missed and I scolded her. But as usual, it didn't get through to her. I told her I didn't want to play anymore so she picked up another orange, this time rotten from the back of our pick up truck, and threw it at me. 

Recently, we were playing legos. I know, right a fourteen year-old playing legos, but it does happen. Not really caring very much I didn't jump to pick pieces out of the lego box. Unlike Kendall and her friend. When I did sit down to play, I picked up a bunch of random legos put them together in the shape of a square and told them that I had made my house already. Then laughing they took a lego plane and crashed it into my house. I have to admit it was pretty funny, so I was laughing, too. But Kendall kept bragging about all the pieces she was finding. So jokingly, I tried to grab her stuff. But she fought me back and dug a lego into my wrist. When I told her she cut me and that I was bleeding, she said "good". She then said that I "sucked at playing legos and that I was annoying" I then called her a mean word and left the room. Listening in on her and her friend's conversation, she said that I started it. Great, because I totally wrecked my own lego house.

Usually, Kendall and I get along really well. We have nicknames for each other, chill out together, and she admits that she'll miss me when I go off to college. But based on this information, would you let Kendall own a dog. Neither would I. And I wonder why Doug is so weird. 

Doug Takes a Shower and a Night of Caffeine

On the night Doug took a shower he had an unruly amount of energy I compare this to my night at the football game because my friends and I had decided to walk to Wasatch Bagels to get coffee. I ended up getting the most delicious black and white mocha, which is a shot of espresso, chocolate, white chocolate, and steamed milk. It ended up being a wonderful thick and powerful master piece. I drank the whole thing on the way to the football game.What this resulted in was a me talking at full speed and spitting out things that don't normally come out of my mouth. I stayed awake and ran around for hours. I giggled and laughed and froze my butt off. I even spilled hot chocolate all over my white sweater. Which I then profusely scrubbed with hot water in the bathroom. Then so I wouldn't have to carry my wet sweater all night I hid it behind a bush in the corner of the field. I then went home and bonked on the couch. I don't even know what caffeine does to the brain. I say this because this it is what happened the night my sister put Doug in the shower.

Although I don't know why the hot water sparked Doug a burst of I do know that energy bursts are common in Bichon mixes. Alike adrenaline and citrus that causes bursts of energy in people, random moments can spark energy in small dogs. So after being shampooed and scrubbed clean he was set loose in my parents bedroom. To my surprise, he was nearly half of his normal size. I guess his fur is almost as poofy as my hair. He then began to run around the bed grunting, barking, and growling. After he decided to dig for nearly half an hour in the same place. Then he ran back and forth over and over again. Until finally he fell over and fell asleep right there. Just like us he gains energy and loses it. He's hungry and then he eats until he's hungry again. It's a cycle. A cycle that happens to every one in a different way. We inhale then we exhale, and then we repeat. And although Doug's repetitive gain and lose of energy is much funnier than most, it's still the same. By the way, Doug on caffeine would be very bad. It's best to keep him away from caffeine for as long as possible and rely on showers to give him his burst of energy.

If Doug Was in High School

If Doug was in high school I don't think he would do better than most of us. He might have just learned how to climb up stairs, but that just proves that he's a quick learner. Doug would be the kind of student who would be sharing. The other day my Dad gave all the dogs a milk bone and Doug decided to set his own the ground for a moment. Before he could pick it up again, our golden retriever, Yogi, had inhaled it. Poor Doug, at least he's ok with sharing. Doug would also be the kind of student to not raise his hand. He enjoys lots of attention. But more importantly Doug would be a great student because of his willing attitude. Unlike Doug, I wake up many mornings just considering if it's really worth it to leave my bed. And any student that wakes up at six in the morning should understand the struggle. I wonder how a teeny tiny dog like him could have more excitement in his little body than most people do. Doug would make the best student because he would be excited about everything and anything, especially learning. 

A tradition for high school graduates is to have a quote under their senior year photo. Many students choose inspirational quote like "In response to those who say to stop dreaming and face reality, I say keep dreaming and make reality” - Kristian Kan, and others choose their own path. Often a comedic one, like Taylor Lautner’s “I hate shirts”. Man, that kid knew himself so well. 

So as I sat in awe of Lautner’s wonderful yearbook quote, I thought “If Doug were to go to school he would need a senior quote, too”. Therefor at dinner, I asked my family what they thought Doug’s yearbook quote would be. My little sister, keeper of Doug (it’s better that way, otherwise he sits in my room and barks at 5 in the morning until I take him outside) said that Doug’s serious senior quote would be “Forget the tennis balls, I want to be a hero” and her funny senior quote would be “I like chasing tennis balls more than I like chasing my dreams.” Ok, so slightly a double negative but it works. My mom said that Doug’s serious senior would be “Carpe Diem” while my Dad said that Doug’s senior quote would be “Life is like a box of dog treats you never know what you’re going to get”. He was completely serious. But if you asked me my personal opinion I would say that none of those would be his senior quote, because Doug is so hard to define in just one sentence. Although Doug is one of the funniest dogs I know, I would say that he would choose a serious quote, something to inspire people. As he inspires us all to be more free and live life to the fullest. To live life like Doug.              . 

Doug would have to wear clothes to school no matter how many times he would object. So here’s a picture of Doug wearing a sweater. 

Doug's Halloween Sweater